I Am Who I Am
by TigresaAmante07
Summary: After a year of leading the League, a threat arrives and Selina finds herself in an unknown place that she must learn how to survive on and escape in order to help the league. Will be able to escape? What challenges will she encounter? And will the league fall and crumple of will a new leader rise? (2nd part to Besides I'm Keeping This anyway)
1. Chapter 1

Punch right. Repeat. Punch left. Dodge to the left. Repeat. Dodge to the right. Kick side twice quickly, twist out of way, elbow back of shoulder. Flip backwards and wait. Opponent charging, run and slide to the side, hitting back of knee in process. Opponent grabs arm and twists it, elbows side. Grip arm with leg, and flip, land on hand and knees, gracefully. Opponent is down.

Selina looked down at Dusan, grinning down at his huge figure guy flat on his back. She moved her neck side to side, cracking it, then moved her shoulders I circles. "Who's next?"

She looked at Nyssa, Abbas, and the other assassins who were beat by her, and then the others who were watching and who have yet to fight her. She circled around Dusan looking at the assassins, barely any of them had their face showing, it was only their eyes.

It was then that Selina felt a hand grip her ankle, bringing her down. Dusan's gravelly voice rang in her head as her head became fuzzy. "This is why the first lesson is always never let your opponent live," Dusan spoke as she felt his body over hers, and cool sharp edged dagger next to her throat.

Selina laughed, "Is it because I didn't put a dagger to your throat Dusan that you feel you weren't defeated? Because I do believe there is one there."

Dusan looked down carefully, surprised as to how she got that there when she didn't even have a weapon on her. "Remember I am a thief," she winked. He got off her having only the slightest bit of a smirk shadow his face. He extended his arm to her and she grabbed it pulling herself up.

She then returned to looking at the assassins, the new ones she fought, "Most of you show potential but many of your weak, I sure hope it's not because you're in my presentence. You're done for the day. Return to your training and jobs." They all bowed down, and left. Nyssa and Dusan stayed.

"Selina!" She heard the child running long before, but as she came closer, she yelled out the name. She tackled Selina's leg but Selina barely moved due to the force. Selina looked down, smiling at Amber. She picked up the smaller girl, "Look what I can do!" Amber held out her hand and made a small ember appear.

Selina was impressed. She looked to Dusan and Nyssa who only looked at the girl with surprised eyes. "I'm impressed. Now see if you can make it bigger," Selina placed Amber down, who ran to show Nyssa as soon as her feet hit the ground. Selina looked to the open door way seeing Maya. She was leaned up against the entrance watching the girl. Selina walked to her friend smiling, "You've clearly been succeeding with Amber."

"I really don't do much," She got off the wall not looking once pass Selina to her husband. She began to turn walking with Selina through the hall. "It's not like I know how it works, we just do exercises, and I let her practice on candles and other objects. She seems as though she knows how to control it well, but we should keep an eye on her still."

"Do you want me to take over or Nyssa?"

"No. It's fine. Plus Asil still needs training."

Selina stopped watching as Maya walked two more steps before she realized Selina topped waking. Maya turned to friend. Selina's expression changed, showing worry, and sorrow, "Maya I know its been tough for you lately but-"

"I'm fine Selina. Noting has changed with me," Maya held her head high showing no emotion.

"You lost your unborn child, you're feeling pain, and you and Dusan haven't touched nor talked to each other for over a month. You bury yourself with Amber and Raja, taking care of them. You avoid anyone but me and the kids."

Maya crossed her arms and leaned on the wall behind, "It just hurts Selina, to know I couldn't birth a child, and I'm scared that it may happen once more."

"I felt the same once with Ra'd." Maya looked up with shock. "I was pregnant but not for long really. I had a miscarriage and I couldn't face him, but I had to get over with it. I know you see Raja and Amber as your children at times, and I do the same, but you will have your chance again. Mourn the child, but don't drown yourself in tears. Live on. You don't need to forget it. Remember it, but live on for it as well." Selina walked on leaving her friend in the hall.

She walked through the bright halls that shined with light from the night moon, along with the candles. The halls weren't as dim as before. She could also hear more noise other than her heels clicking with the floor. She took it in, enjoying laughter, talking, she could hear from rooms. Of course there was still the sound of grunting, and screaming of pain but it mixed with other sounds. She was going to take. Everything was different since last year.

One year ago. Talia was killed. Ra's was killed. Ra'd and Ajum were killed. Aria was killed. Bruce left.

She moved through the halls some more until she came upon being outside. She took off her boots, and walked on the grass where their lake was. It was a calming place. Trees, flowers, a shining lake. It was like a heavenly site to behold, a fantasy almost. She could feel the grass between her toes, the fresh dew on them. She laid down loving the feeling.

But she didn't get to enjoy for, for she began to feel fur rub against the side of her face, then whiskers. Selina laughed and looked up to see the big grown tiger who was only eight months old. "Hey Mito." He placed a paw at her wanting to play. She got up and pet his head then ran as he chased after.

She jumped onto a tree trunk and looked down. He began to climb and she jumped higher away from the black and white tiger. She jumped down from the tree looking up at him as he got ready to pounce, only to miss as she jumped in the lake. Immediately he jumped after her, paddling his big paws. Although cats are known to hate water, tigers actually loved it and Mito clearly expressed /

She had only gotten him when he was four months old at the time he was practically the side of two cats. She had fallen in love with him and took him in. She took him from criminal in Spain, didn't seem like he and Mito had much of a bond since he immediately came to Selina, being comfortable and playing with her. She had kept him away from Raja and Amber only allowing Amber to see him if she was with him.

Selina got out and watched the big cat happily swim around and diving under water.

"Who would of thought that the leader of the League of Assassins spends her time swimming with cat." An unfamiliar voice came from behind. She didn't turn with a sword point was at her back.

"Who are you?"

"A hit-man," she felt him crouch as he made his way closer to her ear, "and I'm not alone."

She felt an explosion, rattle the ground beneath her. Mito was in front of then growling at the man behind. She turned rapidly grabbing the sword although it cut through her palm.

She ripped it out of the man's grasp and flipped it so her hand was on the handle. She finally looked up and saw who it was. "Slade," she growled.

Five months later…

It was the darkest point of day, night, when criminals no longer hid, when the Batman came out to play. He was on a gargoyle watching the people from above, hearing conversations, watching criminals in buildings. He heard the sirens ring throughout the whole city. It was going to be a long night.

"You weren't kidding when you said you'll strike fear into the hearts of criminals."

He turned around hearing that familiar voice. "Maya?"

"In the flesh Detective." She walked with confidence like Selina. She covered in armor and weapons except for her head.

"Where are you here?" He voice was harsh, and he wanted to make sure Selina didn't come here to kill anyone.

"Selina's been missing."

His eyes widened under his cowl, but he didn't let his voice show it. "What do you mean missing?"

"I mean that she could very well be dead, or dying and the League is falling apart."

"What has happened?"

"You're beloved is what happened." Her eyes were dark.

Review! Please, and have a lovley day:}


	2. Chapter 2

She felt soft moist dirt under her palm. All she saw was the darkness of black with light trying to shine through her eyelids. With that she knew the sun was directly above her, and she wasn't quite ready to open her eyes only to be blinded by giant star. She groaned feeling her head pounding as she moved her head the slightest bit to the side.

She tried to move up only to just lay back down on the ground due to a enormous back ache that flared up as she tried to move. As a result she laid there for seconds which turned into minutes. She just breathed calmly.

As those minutes passed by she finally put her hands down on the ground and lifted herself up, still feeling the flame of pain flare in her back but also her legs as she tried to move them. She hissed with the pain that felt so oddly family until it her that she was poisoned. Poisoned with a paralysis poison that lead to a lack of movement and after words you can pain spark I'm any part of your body.

Ra's had done this to her before, when she was much younger. She had to know her poisons, Ra's told her to drink the one that wasn't poison, unfortunately she choose the wrong one, at least not one of the worse. All she knew was that this pain could last a long while, the only problem was even without opening her eyes yet she knew she wasn't anywhere she had been before.

She was up right moving her legs slightly as she blinked her eyes multiply times to adjust them to the brightness of… a jungle?

She took a quick look of her surroundings. Tall canopy trees, bushes, birds flying, a mountain in the distance, and. She turned her head hearing the sound of water. It wasn't rushing water which jungles usually had due to rivers and an overflow of water, no it sounded like water near the shore.

"I'm on an island… Great." She stretched and massaged herself once she knew nothing was around her as of now, trying to relax her aching muscles. Once she finally was feeling less pain she finally got up on her feet only to lean against a tree.

She began to wonder if her legs were really this numb, how long was she out? Was she out for hours on this island ground?

She held onto the trees bark, gripping it fiercely trying to regain her balance. As she waited she listened carefully for any sounds around her, so far she was safe. But did she really want to be safe, since that could possibly be leaving her on an unknown island that no one knew about , which leads to being alone and no way of escaping.

The bushes shook, Selina's head snapped to the side as she opened her eyes, watching with caution. She was still up against the tree, leaning on it trying to move her muscles, and trying to relax and clam her head down. "Who's…" she groaned, she sounded weak, "Who's there?" she growled.

A man with a gun appeared in front of her. He was in a military attire, tanned skin, shaved head.

He smiled, and she only had a very disgusted face as to what he was thinking. He didn't speak as he came closer, he didn't find her a threat, no her found her as a toy, if she could just get power back to her muscles she'd punch, scratch, kick, anything to get away or bet that grin off his face. He grabbed her arm, and immediately she fell, still having shaky legs. She hated this weak feeling, hated how she still could barley move.

He pulled her up roughly, and she only growled at him baring her teeth. But he didn't care all he did was drag her.

Her weak legs shook and buckled as he continued to drag her through the islands terrain. Her feet pounded against the ground as her boots connected to the dirt uneven terrain. Her hair covered her vision, she was sure if anyone saw her like this they would think of her as a savage. But what did she care. All she truly wanted to know was where she was going.

Her question had been answer when she saw the smoke up heave in the air, and she saw the camp ground. Well part of her answer, since she wasn't sure what military people were doing here.

They continued to walk until they reached a tent, and the man had pushed her down onto the ground where she kneeled in front of another man.

Tanned skin once again, longer hair. Brown eyes. Looks weak, obviously he has money to hire people to protect him.

She flipped her head up looking up at him, having her hair out of the way of her vision, and she only stared at him. She spoke no words only stared him down even if she was lower than him.

"A beautiful woman covered in dirt and blood, is found on an island." He comes closer to her crouching in front and grabs a hold of her chin, "what a gift that has come upon us." She quickly ripped her chin out of his hold and bit his hand hard. He ripped his hand far away and she only gave him a face of a wild animal, that seemed almost playful. "You're not very smart darling. I can have you tortured and killed."

She looked at him, with his face trying so hard to strike fear inside her, but she only chuckled. "I've faced that more than once _darling,"_ she mocked the word in front of him. Blood was on her teeth as she grinned at him, and that's when she saw the fear inside of him as he looked at her.

"Chain her up." He said to his men.

She didn't put up a fight, then again it's not like she could. All she could do was be dragged with her feet leaving a trail in the dirt and look at every man's face she passed. She looked around, seeing men with guns, men at a fire pit, men guarding. Every single one of those men, disappeared behind a tent sheet that she was put in. She didn't get a chance to look around the inside, since everything went black.

She woke up to the man that she struck fear into in front of her. Another man behind him, wearing a black and orange attire on his whole body. He had knives, and guns on him and she couldn't help but shake and struggle in his chains that held her arms above her head. _Slade!_

The man who was the leader of all this smiled, and she only growled. He came closer to her and spoke, "now, you are going to tell me everything you know about this island and why you're here."

She ignored the man, only looking to Slade in the back. What did he want with her? Why was he here? Why was she here?

She felt a hand slap her face and she growled. "Tell me why you're here."

"I wouldn't know!" she snarled, her nose scrunched up like a cat growling at a threat. She looked as though she was about to hiss at him.

The man motioned Slade with a hand, and Slade pulled out a blade and sliced her side through her shirt. She screamed in agony.

Blood spilled from his side, drizzling itself on her shirt, dripping onto the dirt of the floor.

"Tell me why you're here."

"All I can tell you was I woke up here. Not sure why, and I'm not sure what happened before I came here. I'm not even sure where I am."

He motioned again to her, Slade again slashed her but on the other side.

Every questioned was answer with the same thing of her not knowing, which only resulted in a slice.

Slice after slice, of her feeling agony, feeling her blood leave her. But slice after slice she saw something.

 _She saw her facing a pool with Mito. She could feel her back shiver, but wasn't sure why. That was until she turned around seeing the face of an older man, that was wearing a black and orange attire, with weapons everywhere on him. She grabbed a hold of his blade cutting her hand but she got the weapon out of his hold and she flipped the blade until her hand grasped the handle. He smiled and put on his mask. She struck first aiming for his side, but he blocked her and cut her side. She grimaced in pain but turned to him and connected her blade with his, blocking his attacks, then trying to kick him away. The ground shook unexpectingly, she stumbled trying to gain her balance but he kicked her down. Again he cut her, but she saw his intentions weren't to kill her just to merely harm her._

She kicked Slade away, feeling that she had finally regained the power to move her muscles. She bounced up, trying to break free from the chains. The man came up to her with a gun, and she only kicked it out of his hand, then kicked him in the jaw and watch him as his head hit the corner of a table. She saw a burning glow beyond the sheets, and shook more trying to free herself from the shackles. She felt the blood on her skin and all she could do was ignore it, use whatever adrenaline she had to break free. She looked up and saw the bar she was chained to and continued to shake and bounce hopefully going to break the bar, hoping it was weak.

She heard gunfire, and saw Slade start to get up.

She finally broke the bar and quickly ran up to Slade, putting the chains around his neck and choking him. She gritted her teeth, as she pulled on the chains, watching Slade struggle. But then she realized that this couldn't be Slade, because Slade wouldn't go out like this. As the man went limp she pulled off the mask. She growled out in anger and pulled her chain up.

Gunfire kept going on as she got up and looked around for anything to break her chains with. She found a hammer and smiled. Smashing the chains and freeing herself. She grabbed the knives and sheaths from the fake Slade. She put the belt of weapons across her shoulder and left the tent, only to see a bunch of men firing guns and a group with bows. A man with long blonde hair saw her and she stopped and looked back at him. She quickly turned and ran. She ran to different tents, holding her sides, feeling the sliding on her skin and dripping onto the dirt. She ran from tent to tent looking for something to hold the bleeding maybe stitch these cuts up.

She opened a white tent and saw bandages, quickly she grabbed them, lifting her now ripped, blooded shirt and wrapping herself in the bandages. She saw a backpack and took it, quickly packing it with any medical supply she could find. She turned putting the bag on one shoulder.

A man came in and immediately held a gun to her but before he could shoot she threw one of the daggers at his face. She walked out of the tent grabbing the dagger out of his head and any other weapon on him.

She quickly fled into the woods, not wanting to try and get herself shot at and wanting to heal.

Everything started to pound. Her head, her feet against the ground, her heart against her chest. She breathed in deeply running, wanting more oxygen to get into her brain, wanting to run and fast as possible to get as far as possible. But she couldn't think nor feel, she didn't even know where she was going. At certain points she saw herself fall but involuntarily she got up and continued.

Her vision was blurred and as she continued to run the less she saw clearly. That's when everything went black and she felt herself fall, fall and fall. Like she fell into a black hole that would never end.

"Surprisingly her wounds aren't infected, but Oliver who's to say she isn't going to harm us or isn't with them. We shouldn't be helping her."

"She didn't look like she was with them. We got your father Shado, and we know what they are after but for now we can lay low and when she wakes up we can question her."

"Oliver, what if she is with them? You could be leading the enemy to us!"

"We have to wait and see Sara."

She was conscious but in pain. She wasn't going to open her eyes, no she was going to wait until she felt more healed, she was going to figure out more about them, who they are. They are idiots to be talking around an unknown even if they thought she was unconscious.

"We can't stay low for too long. We have to figure some way to get to the boat, or to fix that radio, or better yet take over that camp!"

"We'll figure something out."

' _As will I.'_

 _The screeching cries came from a building. It was a child's wail, a cry of pain. Her feet ran to the sound, bursting through the door, sword in arm, as she what was in front of her she dropped her weapon. "How?"_ _She questioned the person in front, only it was some random person it was her with the blood of an innocent smeared on her. And her grin, that blood thirsty grin, it sent shivers down her spine. "No!" She grabbed her head with her palms, pressing her palms into her eyes. "No!"Tears dripped onto the floor._

 _A sickening voice spoke, "This is who you really are. You are no savior to the innocents. You're a killer."_


	3. Chapter 3

The moon shined inside the caves entrance. The crickets made their music in the middle of the night. The sound of breathing reached her ears. There was heavy breathing and snoring. She looked around seeing a man on a made shift bed like hers. Then she looked beyond him to the side where there were two people sleeping on the ground on something that looked like sleeping bags.

She rose up feeling the pain on her body from the slashes she was giving. She bit her lip from screaming or groaning out loud in pain. She didn't know what happened all she knew was that there was a group of people healing her and she was probably going to kill them if they don't tell her everything she needs to know. She looked to see wear the damn backpack she grabbed was only to find it far from her reach passed sleeping bodies. Not much of challenge if blood was seeping out of her little by little. Now she knew why Ra's liked going in the Pit every so often it may have hurt but it had a nice sensation and healed everything so damn fast.

She slowly got up, taking in a breath. She couldn't remember the last time she felt such pain, then again every time she died she was revived and she doesn't really the remember the pain from them.

' _Ignore it'_ she hissed at herself.

She took a step forward carefully. " _What have you learned? Nothing absolute nothing?"_ All they seemed to ever talk about around her was that they were on an island and stranded. Nothing new about the people. Nothing new about anything about them and she was getting so damned tired of wasting her days trying to heal and getting no information while she was "unconscious"!

Oh if only she had her blade right know she would get some real answers. Or even her whip or dagger anger that really was an extension of her. But at the same time she felt as though she could barely even fight. " _Ignore it!"_ That was the solution to every kind of pain according to Ra's. "Damn it," she spoke under her breath. It seemed these last couple of days maybe actually months Ra's wouldn't escape her head. Why? She couldn't figure that out herself quiet yet.

She needed to get out and quick, she felt like she was suffocating every second longer she was inside this cave.

She continued on, just starting to move around the people of the ground sleeping. " _Shado, Oliver, and Sarah. That's the name of all of them. But why does that matter?"_ She looked down as she slowly passed them, making her way out of the cave. She ran a short distance in the forest, took hold of a tree and breathed in and out quickly grasping as much fresh air as she could.

Something was terrifying her something she hadn't been terrified of for such a long time. Nightmares. The only problem was that they felt so real. Felt as though she had made them happen, she was the cause of it all. Felt as though she had done it. But when did they happen? " _Where are you Ra'd when I need you?"_

Her thoughts were interrupted as she heard the foot falls behind her and an arrow being draw on a bow.

"Right now, I wouldn't care if you let that arrow go." Selina didn't even bother to turn around.

"Who are you?" a female voice spoke. One that she has come to know as Shado.

"Trained assassin, master thief, Leader of League of Assassin," Selina shrugs, saying the list nonchalantly.

"Why are you here?"

"Truthfully I'm so tired of that question due to the fact that I'm not even sure why. Literally I just woke up in the middle of a damned island wondering why. Anything else Shado?"

Shado growled, "How do you know my name!"

"I was never unconscious, I mean well I guess for like a couple of hours or so but after words I was just laying on the so comfy bed listening to your little group, talk and talk and literally get know where with it." Selina could hear her out the bow down and that's when she planted herself on the ground, hugging her side still. "I only wanted answers, clearly none of you have any. And clearly we are of no use to each other since I'm not with the men who slashed me. So I'm no longer under your care. Don't expect me to say the words I am under your debt." Selina sighed, "Should've just let me die to be honest, but even the I don't think I would've."

"You would've. Your wounds are severe and would've been infected by now if it wasn't for the supplies you picked up and me."

"Glad to know."

"So you're an assassin leader, who wants to know where she is but also is giving up to just die."

"You wouldn't understand the hell I've been through. And the things I've seen and been seeing." Selina growled out.

Bruce brought Maya to the BatCave, watching her moments, listening to her as she spoke.

"Why haven't you told me this before? Why didn't you come to me before?"

"Because you weren't supposed to be involved and Nyssa and Dusan told me, Nyssa convinced me we could find her, but after so long I… I knew you'd be the only person to help. Due to your reputation." She gestured to his wear.

Bruce groaned not only was he trying to find a murder in the city and take down crime bosses but now Selina, the woman he loved and couldn't resist no matter what she did was missing, possibly even dead.

"If you told me this before I could have possible tracked him but now-"

"If we couldn't you couldn't! I'm telling you this now as a last resort!"

"What do you want me to do Maya? There is nothing I can do since you already did everything and apparently have failed at it!"

"You're the Detective, I am only an assassin, with only the will to find my leader alive!"

Before he could even respond to Maya, Alfred appeared over the large computer screen. "Sorry to interrupt sir- oh… you have company….Well it appears more has come…" Alfred's facial expression didn't seem to please either of the persons on the floor looking at him, but it was also the pointy object that the both of them saw that made Maya rage in anger.

Bruce moved passed her heading towards the stairs, Maya quickly followed. As the approached to where Alfred was being held in, the kitchen, Bruce and Maya had knives embed in the reflections of their eyes.

"Let him go Nyssa!" Bruce growled out.

"Why are you here? Why did you leave?" Dusan remarked towards is furious wife.

She looked to Nyssa, avoiding the question at hand, "Stand down Nyssa, this man has done nothing to deserve such treatment." Nyssa moved the sword away from Alfred, putting in back in her sheath. "Are you alright?" She questioned the old butler. "Yes thank you miss." She looked at the two, "Leave," she hissed.

"You left! We only had a right to seek you out!" Nyssa shouted.

"The league is suffering, and Talia has taken control over it! She has killed so many since you left! You we're the one to take Selina's place if anything happened and you left right when Talia struck and we came here to find him only to find you here!"

"I left to try and find Slade or Talia or Selina. I tired of your damn pestering to stand down and let you to take over the situation when you two only came back with no answers or clues!" Maya then realized something, "Where are the children?"

"Safe," Dusan hissed the words like poison.

"There were only so many we could help against Talia's army that she had, along with Slade's." Nyssa spoke up.

"Where?" Maya question.

"One of Selina's safe house here in Gotham." Nyssa saws Bruce face confused, "She has many but this was the one closet to you."

Bruce was shocked and confused. Of all the places she had a safe house here. _Here!_ Why? Has she ever used it? When did she make it?

Maya bean to pace back and forth, "I thought I could find her. I thought I could find something. I only just came here today to find him." Maya had such anger in her eyes like she was about to murder everyone in the room, instead she only flipped the kitchen table, and scream in anger.

"Where is the safe house?" Bruce questioned, and Nyssa responded with it being in an area in the East End. "Maya, stay here. Alfred," he sorrowly looked at his butler.

"Don't worry sire."

Selina's hands caressed her head as she laid her elbows on her knees. Shado was next to her still alarmed but curious.

"What have you seen?"

"So much death. So much horror. Me hurting those I long to protect."

"So they are visions."

"No… Yes… I'm not sure what they are."

"What have you been through?"

"Hell."

"That's what we all think we go through."

"Have you all died multiple times only to be revived against your own will? Have you faced the man who was literally named the Demon's head to once more be murdered by his hands? Have you lost the ones you loved? Have you been in a position you'd never thought you'd be in, like leading assassins when before all you were was a street rat stealing?" Selina looked at Shado for the first time, her hair slightly covering her green eye that held pain and anger.

It took Shado a while to respond at all. "No."

"What I thought. And then the next thing you know you were attacked and then woke up on this island." Selina sighed, "Maybe this is a gift."

"An Island away from your problem isn't a gift. It's making you're problem grow. Come on, I need to change those bandages."

Selina growled at the pain that stung her as she got up, "Who's the old man on the other bed?"

"My father."

"Why is he here?"

"We were brought here together."

"How long have you been on this island?"

"Years."

Selina looked at her.

"My father was skilled in archery, I had only began, but he has taught me more and we live here basically, waiting to be saved, the only problem is that we are the ones saving people who come to this island."

 _I shouldn't be one._


End file.
